istock photo

istock photo

Dear Haikusue,

Since this is anonymous I am going to be completely honest, I am 5'3" and 285 pounds. I've been trying to "love myself" for the last few years and been a vocal advocate of the whole body positive and Fat-activist movement, but the truth is I am miserable. I want to make a change, I want to feel better, I don't want to have so many aches and pains, and most of all (if I am still being honest) I want to shop atregular stores and buy cute trendy clothes. 

The problem? I feel like over the past few years I have carved out a ton of friendships and a whole identity based on my weight. My whole social circle is made up of like minded people, and I fear I will lose all my friends if I start a serious personal health mission. The way the world has treated me for being overweight has been awful, and I really value my friends, but I am really worried that they will see me getting fit as a betrayal. What do I do?


Future Not-Fatctivist in Oakland


Dear Future:

Trust your social group

Valued friendships will not change

Go for what you want