Image: S. Whittle for Style Wylde.

Image: S. Whittle for Style Wylde.

Dear Haikusue:

My wife's family is very close knit. Both her parents and her 2 older brothers live within 30 miles from us, and we see them every other weekend and on all holidays. I think having a close family is great, especially since we have just had a baby daughter who definitely benefits from all the people around her, but sometimes the constant visits get to be a bit much. I love her family, but between my mother in law giving us "tips" on how to take care of our newborn, and her brothers "offering to help" to do repairs around the house that I haven't gotten to because of my long work hours, I find myself getting annoyed with them. To make matters worse, I've recently been offered a great job in New York, that would mean more money and tons more room for growth, but my wife isn't happy with the potential move. She feels we should stay in the area, close to her family and enjoy our 'quality of life' here, instead of going after the big bucks.  Whereas I not only see this job as a great chance for my career and our financial stability, it also feels like a chance for us to get out on our own for a while, and just be a family without her parents, her brothers, her sisters-in-law and everyone else constantly in the mix. How can I get her to see that a little space and the career growth together are a good thing?


Suffocating in Sonoma


Dear Suffocating:

Time for compromise

Location or length of time

Plus lots of trips home